Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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