that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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