He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
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I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
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I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?