Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(248): View more from Michigan

apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.

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(417): View more from Missouri

You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?

(573): View more from Missouri

You can't be serious.

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(405): View more from Oklahoma

There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.

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(330): View more from Ohio

we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it

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21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
Read it at the TFLN blog
(+44): View more from United Kingdom

Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.

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(562): View more from California

I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.

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(571): View more from Virginia

i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus

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(914): View more from New York

Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.

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