Texts From Last Night

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  (360): View more from Washington

  No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..

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  (360): No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down.. http://tfl.nu/yoii
  Replies (15) Good night (1545) Bad night (620)
• Favorite

  (225): View more from Louisiana

  Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.

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  (225): Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over. http://tfl.nu/jb0a
  Replies (16) Good night (2832) Bad night (731)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up

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  (907): my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up http://tfl.nu/bsdq
  Replies (4) Good night (3240) Bad night (461)
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.

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  (859): The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know. http://tfl.nu/3jb2
  Replies (17) Good night (5851) Bad night (726)
• Favorite

  (937): View more from Ohio

  how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?

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  (937): how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on? http://tfl.nu/yug9
  Replies (16) Good night (4950) Bad night (963)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face

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  (516): There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face http://tfl.nu/9y4h
  Replies (55) Good night (21698) Bad night (1450)
• Favorite

  (262): View more from Wisconsin

  Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon

  (1-262): View more from Wisconsin

  That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months

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  (262): Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon (1-262): That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months http://tfl.nu/99ql
  Replies (1) Good night (1587) Bad night (471)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.

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  (303): I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already. http://tfl.nu/emym
  Replies (6) Good night (1068) Bad night (448)
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in

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  (864): I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in http://tfl.nu/mz6f
  Replies (3) Good night (1118) Bad night (704)
• Favorite

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.

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  (505): I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub. http://tfl.nu/yxnr
  Replies (6) Good night (1864) Bad night (400)
• Favorite

  (647): View more from Ontario

  Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.

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  (647): Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor. http://tfl.nu/ry4y
  Replies (8) Good night (1435) Bad night (444)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.

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  (978): i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken. http://tfl.nu/6c3c
  Replies (1) Good night (770) Bad night (255)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer

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  (716): Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer http://tfl.nu/jd4w
  Replies (3) Good night (474) Bad night (215)
• Favorite

  (516): View more from New York

  I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.

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  (516): I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly. http://tfl.nu/c92d
  Replies (2) Good night (462) Bad night (277)
• Favorite

  (716): View more from New York

  I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.

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  (716): I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow. http://tfl.nu/y8yu
  Replies (3) Good night (404) Bad night (231)

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