Texts From Last Night

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  (574): View more from Indiana

  Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.

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  (574): Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter. http://tfl.nu/0enu
  Replies (19) Good night (3824) Bad night (897)
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  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!

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  (484): I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia! http://tfl.nu/lfqp
  Replies (81) Good night (3378) Bad night (569)
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  (912): View more from Georgia

  an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks

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  (912): an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks http://tfl.nu/5yhs
  Replies (25) Good night (6263) Bad night (1099)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.

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  (404): So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that. http://tfl.nu/ssua
  Replies (14) Good night (4163) Bad night (890)
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  (604): View more from British Columbia

  dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"

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  (604): dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too" http://tfl.nu/x15y
  Replies (5) Good night (4164) Bad night (1043)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.

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  (802): I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job. http://tfl.nu/xzx3
  Replies (41) Good night (7407) Bad night (1605)
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  (606): View more from Kentucky

  i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.

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  (606): i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer. http://tfl.nu/0wtr
  Replies (20) Good night (3907) Bad night (2463)
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  (773): View more from Illinois

  Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.

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  (773): Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night. http://tfl.nu/t8p9
  Replies (6) Good night (3087) Bad night (1700)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.

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  (505): We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee. http://tfl.nu/uw8q
  Replies (7) Good night (1228) Bad night (3488)
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  (605): View more from South Dakota

  Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible.

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  (605): Just used the leftover candycorn for candycorn vodka. Our house is trying to continue the Halloween spirit for as long as possible. http://tfl.nu/ozx2
  Replies (3) Good night (1679) Bad night (626)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?

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  (919): Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas? http://tfl.nu/7kpc
  Replies (6) Good night (2044) Bad night (1204)
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  (801): View more from Utah

  Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?

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  (801): Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning? http://tfl.nu/nrqu
  Replies (5) Good night (704) Bad night (385)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.

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  (513): Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect. http://tfl.nu/ksxu
  Replies (2) Good night (397) Bad night (1046)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex

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  (770): The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex http://tfl.nu/wiih
  Replies (7) Good night (846) Bad night (318)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.

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  (405): Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky. http://tfl.nu/1s85
  Replies (4) Good night (1108) Bad night (330)

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