I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize
