I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do you have feelings for this penis?