Texts From Last Night

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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you

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  (203): Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you http://tfl.nu/hz3o
  Replies (15) Good night (1215) Bad night (636)
• Favorite

  (410): View more from Maryland

  Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.

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  (410): Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight. http://tfl.nu/1lc5
  Replies (6) Good night (4640) Bad night (815)
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  (409): View more from Texas

  Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.

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  (409): Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever. http://tfl.nu/fjfv
  Replies (12) Good night (1019) Bad night (4196)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ

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  (405): I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ http://tfl.nu/wml8
  Replies (62) Good night (1838) Bad night (3207)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.

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  (304): i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers. http://tfl.nu/rz0s
  Replies (21) Good night (4339) Bad night (1182)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?

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  (239): Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls? http://tfl.nu/pmwm
  Replies (11) Good night (5179) Bad night (1011)
• Favorite

  (828): View more from North Carolina

  is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?

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  (828): is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear? http://tfl.nu/pkiy
  Replies (1) Good night (899) Bad night (1646)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.

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  (407): If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life. http://tfl.nu/zp1p
  Replies (11) Good night (1028) Bad night (2563)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  People are yelling about how much they want you here.

  (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.

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  (651): People are yelling about how much they want you here. (563): I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled. http://tfl.nu/lpre
  Replies (4) Good night (2531) Bad night (815)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.

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  (214): Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming. http://tfl.nu/yp4i
  Replies (21) Good night (1555) Bad night (1461)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.

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  (970): I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out. http://tfl.nu/m1u8
  Replies (8) Good night (2272) Bad night (1262)
• Favorite

  (609): View more from New Jersey

  Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.

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  (609): Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm. http://tfl.nu/g4hv
  Replies (2) Good night (641) Bad night (275)
• Favorite

  (618): View more from Illinois

  If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life

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  (618): If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life http://tfl.nu/7oxt
  Replies (1) Good night (512) Bad night (287)
• Favorite

  (973): View more from New Jersey

  He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.

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  (973): He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him. http://tfl.nu/d79p
  Replies (1) Good night (212) Bad night (488)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...

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  (651): They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times... http://tfl.nu/mx07
  Replies (1) Good night (564) Bad night (232)

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