I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS