WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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