I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize