o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
