I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
COCAINE IS GR8
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
Randomize
