And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
Randomize
