I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
