You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
