Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
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when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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