I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
