do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
bring money and cleavage
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
