not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Randomize
