I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Apparently you make a good broom.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
Randomize
