look no pants
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
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