i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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