my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
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