I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
