id be glad to
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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