she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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