Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
