You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
She gave me a collar. When I asked what this was for she replied "I'm taming your dick"
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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