no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Randomize
