He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Randomize
