R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Highlight of the night: paying my cell phone bill at the bar... I need to get laid.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Randomize
