so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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