fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
