One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
