White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
