I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
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