Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
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