If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
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