i just had sex bonerless
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
Randomize
