I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
