I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
I just tried to light a cigarette with a tube of lipstick. If I had stayed in girl scouts maybe I could've made that happen.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
im actually so stoned and hungover i feel like a bag of jello stuffed into a human shape
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Randomize
