I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
One lesson I've learned so far from college: You've always got time for one more shot. Always
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
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