I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
apparently the secret to your success is patron
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
The beer is more important than you right now.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
