So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
So called my VP's house on Sunday drunk and told him that if he didn't hire me for the new position I would skull fuck his wife. They asked me to go home today. Thanks again Vodka
happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Damn victory sex feels great
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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