I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
