Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
