ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
