Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
You're breaking my sexual little heart
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
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