remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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