i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
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