My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
