i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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