Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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