help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
These are the last few fleeting sober moments of the day for me. If there is anything you need me to do today, please tell me now
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
