Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I think pants incapable of making pants work
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
