I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
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