Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
