walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
3pm strippers are depressing
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
