Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
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