Sponge bath it is.
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
