Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
