I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize