YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
Randomize
