god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
I'm just that drunk tells people I love them or wants to set them on fire. Accept that.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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