No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
