u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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