Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
