my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
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