the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
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