Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
