she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I got a blowjob dressed with a t shirt sweatpants and a Fanny pack. Not kidding.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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