You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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