I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
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You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
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After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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