I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
