he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Randomize
