My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
