I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
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