I hate fucking guys that don't drink coffee. My morning hangover and shame will not be cured by your stupid tea.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
I think I broke my hip playing drunk ping pong
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
