Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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