Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
