This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
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He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
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Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I lost the right to judge tonight
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
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