i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
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