My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
